If you're perplexed, appalled or angry, it is important to explore the other person's Path to Action. To determine the root causes of the other person's behavior, ask yourself the humanizing question—"Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person act this way?"
Write out as many answers as you can brainstorm, select the top three or four that you feel may be the answer, then ASK THEM. Never assume another person's motives. Approach them with the goal of improving or maintaining the relationship. After all, true success is being rich in relationships!
Again, never assume another person's motives. If you want to learn a lot and improve your relationships, have enough love for your fellow human being to ask them what is going on.
Adapted from the book Crucial Conversations www.vitalsmarts.com
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Non-Resistance
It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. At the root of the disturbance is probably jealousy, envy, self-pity or hurt pride. Non-resistance to the ego in others is the key to maintaining the happiness you've decided to live. Let them deal with their issues, they're not your business!
A burst of temper can spoil a day. When we speak or act rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. A well-nursed grudge can make us miserably ineffective. In all situations we need restraint of pen and tongue. Train yourself to step back and think when triggered. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic. Do an honest analysis of why you're bothered and be willing to admit your part, to transform that character defect into a Godly asset. Immediately forgive yourself as well as others, then move onward and upward.
A burst of temper can spoil a day. When we speak or act rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. A well-nursed grudge can make us miserably ineffective. In all situations we need restraint of pen and tongue. Train yourself to step back and think when triggered. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic. Do an honest analysis of why you're bothered and be willing to admit your part, to transform that character defect into a Godly asset. Immediately forgive yourself as well as others, then move onward and upward.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Failure is just Learning
Try and Fail - learn from it and life will get better. Fail to try, or don't bother to look for the lesson, and it won't. In order to move forward you must open yourself to new experiences. There is no failing, only mistakes. Mistakes lead to learning if you are wise. Action based on learning inevitably leads to better results.
Be courageous and push yourself to new heights. Besides, what is going to happen if you make a mistake? - If you can, correct it! If you can't, just learn from it and let it go.
The mistakes of yesterday either generate sorrow, if not corrected and learned from; or generate greatness, if at least learned from. If you don't at least learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to keep repeating them. If you feel stuck, consider this deeply.
The more mistakes you make and pull lessons from, the wiser you will become. Don't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Be fearless in your examination. "Have the courage to change the things you can and the serenity to accept the things you can't" means focusing on YOUR part. That is the way to truth and real growth.
Be courageous and push yourself to new heights. Besides, what is going to happen if you make a mistake? - If you can, correct it! If you can't, just learn from it and let it go.
The mistakes of yesterday either generate sorrow, if not corrected and learned from; or generate greatness, if at least learned from. If you don't at least learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to keep repeating them. If you feel stuck, consider this deeply.
The more mistakes you make and pull lessons from, the wiser you will become. Don't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Be fearless in your examination. "Have the courage to change the things you can and the serenity to accept the things you can't" means focusing on YOUR part. That is the way to truth and real growth.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Good Character
A good way to start the day is spending a few minutes reflecting on the value of conducting our lives in an ethically disciplined manner, no matter what our beliefs or lack of them. The same is true of taking some time at the end of each day to review how successful we have been. -Dalai Lama
I like to meditate on God-Like qualities I want to increase in my life, perhaps even chant them, because I feel closer to my Source, the Source of Power and Love, when I think and act this way. I feel in 'synch' with the positive flow of energy spiralling ever upward toward our highest good.
I like to meditate on God-Like qualities I want to increase in my life, perhaps even chant them, because I feel closer to my Source, the Source of Power and Love, when I think and act this way. I feel in 'synch' with the positive flow of energy spiralling ever upward toward our highest good.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Marrianne Williamson Quote
I cannot help but re-post because I believe this so much! “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
—Marianne Williamson
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
—Marianne Williamson
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