Perplexed Why Someone Would Say or do THAT?

If you're perplexed, appalled or angry, it is important to explore the other person's Path to Action. To determine the root causes of the other person's behavior, ask yourself the humanizing question—"Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person act this way?"

Write out as many answers as you can brainstorm, select the top three or four that you feel may be the answer, then ASK THEM. Never assume another person's motives. Approach them with the goal of improving or maintaining the relationship. After all, true success is being rich in relationships!

Again, never assume another person's motives. If you want to learn a lot and improve your relationships, have enough love for your fellow human being to ask them what is going on.

Adapted from the book Crucial Conversations www.vitalsmarts.com

Non-Resistance

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. At the root of the disturbance is probably jealousy, envy, self-pity or hurt pride. Non-resistance to the ego in others is the key to maintaining the happiness you've decided to live. Let them deal with their issues, they're not your business!

A burst of temper can spoil a day. When we speak or act rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. A well-nursed grudge can make us miserably ineffective. In all situations we need restraint of pen and tongue. Train yourself to step back and think when triggered. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic. Do an honest analysis of why you're bothered and be willing to admit your part, to transform that character defect into a Godly asset. Immediately forgive yourself as well as others, then move onward and upward.

Failure is just Learning

Try and Fail - learn from it and life will get better. Fail to try, or don't bother to look for the lesson, and it won't. In order to move forward you must open yourself to new experiences. There is no failing, only mistakes. Mistakes lead to learning if you are wise. Action based on learning inevitably leads to better results.

Be courageous and push yourself to new heights. Besides, what is going to happen if you make a mistake? - If you can, correct it! If you can't, just learn from it and let it go.

The mistakes of yesterday either generate sorrow, if not corrected and learned from; or generate greatness, if at least learned from. If you don't at least learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to keep repeating them. If you feel stuck, consider this deeply.

The more mistakes you make and pull lessons from, the wiser you will become. Don't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Be fearless in your examination. "Have the courage to change the things you can and the serenity to accept the things you can't" means focusing on YOUR part. That is the way to truth and real growth.