Perplexed Why Someone Would Say or do THAT?

If you're perplexed, appalled or angry, it is important to explore the other person's Path to Action. To determine the root causes of the other person's behavior, ask yourself the humanizing question—"Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person act this way?"

Write out as many answers as you can brainstorm, select the top three or four that you feel may be the answer, then ASK THEM. Never assume another person's motives. Approach them with the goal of improving or maintaining the relationship. After all, true success is being rich in relationships!

Again, never assume another person's motives. If you want to learn a lot and improve your relationships, have enough love for your fellow human being to ask them what is going on.

Adapted from the book Crucial Conversations www.vitalsmarts.com